Support The Crespogram
NUMBER 168 - NOVEMBER 6, 2019
COMMISSIONER "SELLOUT" RUSSELL THOUGHT HE WAS BEING SLICK BY GIVING HIS DOE-EYED MILLENNIAL SOCK PUPPET ELEAZAR MELENDEZ, $150,000 SO HE COULD SIT NEXT TO HIM AT COMMISSION MEETINGS AND PROTECT HIM FROM COMMISSIONER "COMEMIERDA"CAROLLO. UNFORTUNATELY SOCK PUPPET DIDN'T WIN, SO THIS IS WHAT $150,000 LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU THROW IT INTO A FIRE
The single most important person this morning in determining whether the next two years at Miami City Hall will be a replay of the last two years, only on steroids, is Miami's Boy-Toy Mayor Francis Suarez.
While he got Ken Russell back as his only true suporter on the Commission, he's still got Manolo Reyes and Joe Carollo to contend with, and now he faces a possibility of those two being joined by Alex Diaz de la Portilla, who in Joe Carollo's mind is going to be a member of "his team," once he gets elected.
If Portilla wins and does become a member of Carollo's "team," then Carollo will have a strong and constant 3 man majority that he can use to batter Suarez around like a ping-pong ball.
Two years ago, Suarez face this same dilemma with Carollo.
Then, he could have come out in support of Alfie Leon the day after Leon and Carollo learned that they'd be facing each other in a runoff, and the odds are that with his money and his popularity, Suarez could have swayed the runoff in Leon's favor.
He didn't, and he's had two years of having to eat shit and being disrespected as Carollo treats him like a punching bag.
This morning Suarez could change the equation and come out in support of Miguel Gabala, and with the natural shift of voters who voted for the losing candidates, and the endorsement of some of those candidates, starting with Horacio Aguirre, Gabala has a decent chance of winning.
But, if Suarez demonstrates the same cowardice he showed two years ago in refusing to support Alfie Leon, then you can expect that the predicitions that Carollo's been making for months will come true, starting with his claim that he intends to get rid of City Manager Emilio "Colonel Klink" Gonzalez, followed by Police Chief Jorge Colina. And that's just for starters.
Even Carlos Gimenez the Mayor of Miami-Dade County was smart enough to come out in support of Gabala weeks ago
Copyrighted: 2011,2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019
More evidence that @MiamiMayor works for Mas and Beckham, not his constituents: when @JoeCarolloNow reasonably suggests the city look for bidders who may pay more rent for Melreese, @FrancisSuarez has a meltdown and the meeting degrades into a shouting match. Again. #BecauseMiami pic.twitter.com/PtwT6M5MAa— Billy Corben (@BillyCorben) October 10, 2019
Francis Suarez on the other hand continued to stand on the sidelines with his thumb stuck up his ass, and now this morning, he faces a decision that will either make or break his term as Mayor of Miami.
He can do nothing, like he did with Carollo and reap the consequences of that act of cowardice, or he can come out in support of Gabala.
If he choses not to support Gabala and claims like he did with Carollo that he's ready to work with whoever gets elected, then not only can you expect to see and hear Suarez whining and begging for respect like he has during the last two years but I predict that he will also start looking for a graceful way to get out of being the Mayor of Miami before the end of his term in 2021.
Either way, this is a day that will define both Francis Suarez and the future of Miami, and sadly, if you look at the video below, you'll realize that the odds are not good that Francis Suarez is capable of making a wise decision.
It's Miami. Bitches!
TODAY WILL BE THE DAY THAT REVEALS WHETHER FRANCIS SUAREZ HAS THE BALLS TO BE A REAL MAYOR, OR IS DESTINED TO CONTINUE BEING A WHINY BITCH UNDESERVING OF BEING THE MAYOR OF MIAMI
At the very least, you would think that Jose Jr. might have sat Daddy down and given him some basic explanation of what was going on, but even that seems to be too much to expect from any of these people, who starting with the Mayor, his pretend City Manager Colonel Klink, and the City Commissioners all seem from the available evidence to be engaged in a wanton and completely self-serving exercise in screwing the pooch and the taxpayers of the city for their personal benefit.
If you've got the desire, here is a link to the video of the meeting, where you'll hear from long time Grove resident Joyce Nelson state how things have changed drastically for the worse in the last 2 years - which of course coincide with the election of Boy-Toy Mayor Francis Suarez and Commissioners "Comemierda" Carollo and "Sellout" Russell. .
The levels of open corruption and abuse of office that all of these people are engaging in on an almost daily basis is in some ways staggering, and contrary to the claim by Dr. Martin Luther King, "The moral arc of the universe in Miami is short, and it always bends towards corruption and graft."
It's Miami, Bitches!
NUMBER 169 - NOVEMBER 10, 2019
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN COMMISSIONER "TALK WITH MY AUNTIE BARBARA" HARDEMON TOLD COMMISSIONER "COMEMIERDA" CAROLLO THAT HE WOULD ALLOW HIM TO CHOOSE HIS REPRESENTATIVE ON THE CODE COMPLIANCE TASK FORCE LAST MARCH? WELL HE DID
Afer thanking Hardemon for his generosity and willingness to give away his appointment to a public board that without question you would think would be one that the District 5 Commissioner would think would be of importance to the residents of his district given that it is not only the poorest district, but as a result of that poverty in need of serious attention when it came to code compliance, Carollo did what we would expect him to do, he appointed a ringer.
He appointed Jose Suarez Sr. who just happens to be the father of Jose Suarez Jr. his current Chief of Staff.
Just that alone would be enough to raise eyebrows, and make some people say, "What the fuck?"
But because so much of what Carollo touches turns to shit, it's a lot worse than that.
Below is a portion of the last meeting of the Task Force, where Daddy Suarez declares that he's confused as to just what it is that he's supposed to be doing on this board, and in fact, he doesn't understand what the the board itself is supposed to be doing.
NUMBER 168 - NOVEMBER 12, 2019
IT'S MIAMI, BITCHES!
A Tale Of The Backroom Machinations Involving The District 1 Election That You Won't Get From Anyone Else
After days of anticipation, Francis Suarez finally came out in support of Alex Diaz de la Portilla to replace Willy Gort as the City Commissioner for District 1.
In fact, about the only ones who didn't know about this before the announcement was made on Monday night on Telemondo 51 were the general public because I had confirmed earlier on Monday that for days Suarez has been calling deep pocket donors asking them to donate to Diaz de la Portilla's runoff campaign, and by this Friday when the latest campaign reports are filed everyone will be able to see who has agreed to do so.
It appears that among the reasons reason for Suarez's refusal to make the announcement before today was that these kind of deals involve Quid Pro Quo's, and during the last several days there have been rumors galore over who was getting what as a result of this deal, and more importantly, who was getting screwed.
The big losers - beside Miguel Gabala, who's chances of beating Diaz de la Portilla just went in the crapper with Suarez's endorsement - are Joe Carollo and Ken Russell, and perhaps the biggest loser at the end of the day might turn out to be Francis Suarez, but we'll have to deal with that at a later date.
Weak men make weak decisions, and weak decisions have a bad habit of turning around and biting the people who make them in the ass.
Francis Suarez has demonstrated time and again that he is a very weak man, and the video clips of his groveling and both asking and demanding that he be respected by Joe Carollo are but a window into hollowness that lies behind the glib smile and jitterbug walk that he exhibits as he zips around town posing for photos and playing the role of carnival barker in the shit show that the city has become under his administration.
Suarez has pretty much made a mess of his time as mayor, and this decision is bound to embolden several contenders to run against him in 2021, which might convince him to leave office after one term, if he manages to last that long because once Carollo understands the full implications of what his deal with Diaz de la Portilla represent to him, I predict Carollo is going to show up at every meeting looking for the first opportunity to eat him a new asshole before the lunch break.zCarollo's dream was to become the defacto strong mayor through control of the city commission and that has been evident since he got elected. in furthering that goal he spent a lot of gtime and effort raising a big chunk of money, having his wife handle Diaz de la Portilla's radio spots and even serving as his Uber driver in Carollo's to make Diaz de la Portilla indebted to him.
Suarez's endorsement tends to confirm the rumors that he and Diaz de la Portilla entered into a secret pact months ago, and that Diaz de la Portilla purposely played Carollo along because he never had any intention of playing second fiddle to Carollo.
In Diaz de la Portilla mind the Miami City Commission is going to become his city commission, and he, and not Joe Carollo is going to become the Top Dog.
There is no room on a 5 man city commission for two Top Dogs.
Suarez's endorsement therefore was a transactional move to use Diaz de la Portilla to checkmate Carollo, and at the same time to provide him with a 3 vote majority when he needs it. In return whatever shenanigans Diaz de la Portilla decides to try and get away with - and he'll be coming out of the gate with with shenanigans - will be fine with him.
For entertainment value, the only thing that could have provided better entertainment than watching Carollo and Diaz de la Portilla going at each other - and sooner, rather than laet I predict that they will - would have been to have Frank Pichel elected.
For the public and for those who care about the city however, if you think the last two years have been bad, you haven't even begun to understand what bad means when you have both Alex Diaz de la Portilla and Joe Carollo at City Hall, because both of these guys are kleptomaniacs with visions of turning the operation of the city into a cash register.
COMMISSIONER "SELLOUT" RUSSELL MISCALCULATES AGAIN
A bigger loser than Carollo is Commissioner Ken "Sellout" Russell.
Russell went from basking in the adoration of the progressive wing of the local democratic party for giving $150,000 to his former Chief of Staff Eleazar Melendez campaign as a way to energize both his campaign and the democratic party's efforts to convert what have for years been non-partisan municipal elections into partisan political free-for-alls based on a changing demographic that sees Miami-Dade County becoming more favorable to democratic candidates, and if he was a man with no friends or allies on the commission before Diaz de la Portilla showed up, now he's going to have another guy who is not only smarter and tougher than Carollo ready to yank on his chain, but he's also going to have a guy who contrary to all the claims about being a unifier, is as vindictive and mean spirited as Carollo is when it comes to getting even with people who he believes try to fuck him.
In Russell's case, he gave Diaz da la Portilla $150,000 readons to pay him back.
Russell I've been told, was warned by just about everyone he talked with not to go forward with giving Melendez that $150,000, but he ignored those warnings, and after Melendez failed to make it into the runoff, and Suarez stabbed him in the back by endorsing Diaz de la Portilla, he now finds himself standing under a dark cloud, with his weenie in his hand and no Plan B.
There have been unsubstantiated rumors that next month when the commission goes through it's annual dog and pony show about which commissioner chairs which city agency, Russell could end up losing either the OMNI CRA or the Downtown Development Authority, or both.
Elections always have consequences, and the word on the street is that in the week since the election Russell went from disbelief to outright anger to, 'what the fuck do I do now," over the news that Suarez was going to endorse Diaz de la Portilla.
Today Russell stands alone on the commission because none of the current members have anything to benefit or fear from him, and to top it off, Francis Suarez, the guy who's wagon he hitched himself to had thrown him under the bus with his support of Diaz de la Portilla.
Which brings us to this morning Special Meeting over the Melreese Golf Course/Beckham Soccer Stadium lease.
I predict that at the end of the meeting the vote will be Carollo, Reyes, Gort and Russell against, which kills the deal, because while Russell will claim that he opposes the deal on the grounds that the city will not suffer a net loss of parkland as a result of this deal, what will really tip the balance will be Russell's decision to show Francis Suarez that he's no pushover, but in fact, I predict that the future will reveal he's the biggest pushover in the room.
In the meantime, this golf course deal, like so many other deals does not end today as a result of this vote.
I'll be back with Part II, and maybe a Part III after the vote.
HERE IS THE TELEMUNDO 51 STORY ON SUAREZ'S ENDORSEMENT OF DIAZ DE LA PORTILLA