Support The Crespogram

NUMBER 128 - AUGUST 23, 2019


It used to be that former City Commissioner Marc Sarnoff would show up at Carollo's office on the mornings of the Commission meetings to guide his sock puppet - Sarnoff has invested serious money, legal advice and no doubt psychological counseling to "Comemierda" - but in recent months he must of figured that being seen going in and out of Carollo's office was not good for his image - that's a joke because his image as a lying, weasel dick, "Pay For Play" schemer was firmly established long ago - they've been meeting in out of the way places.

There's always plenty for the Sith Lord to discuss with his puppet master Sarnoff, such as the pickle he's in over his claim to have been in the "Inactive Marine Reserves," which would be on par with claiming he was on the, "Inactive Miley Cyrus Boyfriend List."

And then there is his problem of lashing out at critics by always claiming some criminal or illegal activity in their past which is funny since it turned out he was not only employing a woman who it seems had to get drunk before showing up for work, but a male staff member who is rumored to have had a problem back in the day with trying to play hide the weenie with a playmate who slapped handcuffs on his ass.

So many problems, so many lies, so many people unwilling to bow down to  Sith Lord "Comemierda," with the deference that he believes is his due that it's no wonder that he looks perturbed in the photo.

Speaking of photos, this one was taken by a loyal Crespogram Ranger. You too can become a Crespogram Ranger by keeping your cellphone camera ready to take photos of conspiring weasel dicks like these two and sending them to me.  You know I'll post them!

Copyrighted:  2011,2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019


I realized that Miami City Attorney had stuck her nose way up Joe Carollo's ass the afternoon I took the above photograph of her showing up in Little Havana before the first of his Last Friday of the Month events last November.

Victoria Mendez never shows up for extra curricular activities, so her showing up on a Friday afternoon after 5 PM at Domino Plaza because she said Carollo had asked her to immediately set off alarms for me.

Since then I've watched her on numerous occasions making little moves that wouldn't normally be picked up by people who don't know or understand the intricacies of what sometimes goes on during commission meetings as she interjects herself in ways intended to head off criticism of Carollo, or saying and offering so-called legal opinions that she's pulled out her ass in order to throw him a lifeline when he had wandered into Crazyville.

One rationale offered for this behavior has been that she see's Carollo as a bulwark against efforts to fire her by the Mayor and other commissioners who aren't happy with her performance, another explanation supposedly has something to do with alleged dealings that Carlos Morales, her husband - who is a developer/contractor - has with the city, and a third is that she's just attracted to batshit crazy sociopaths like Carollo.

Whatever it is, she never seems to have a problem going along with any of Carollo's bullshit paranoia rantings, which is obviously how she ended up agreeing to fiance a compter search of his office computers for evidence of alleged wrong doing by Steven Miro after Carollo fired him.

The cost for that search, as as I've indicated was $35,893.31.

Here is the invoice for the $5,000 retainer.

Here is the invoice for the remaining $30,893.31.

Here is the contract.

The first question about this deal that merits being asked is whether this "contract" for services was put out for bid?

The City Manager can't go out and make deals with anyone if the cost is more than $25,000, and I know that the City Attorney has to get Commission approval for settlements of over $25,000 as well as for hiring outside counsel for city employees, so would she have been required to get Commission approval to spent $35,893.31 for some compter guy to go looking for porn on city computers, especially since the taxpayers of Miami are already paying millions of dollars for an IT department.

Wasn't there anyone in the IT Department capable of doing a serach to discover whether there was any porn on Carollo's hard drives, or even to discover whether Miro might have been a deep undercover Cuban spy working for Raul Castro, which has been another long-time paranoid fantasy of Carollo's, based on the belief that the Cubans in Cuba view him as some sort of existential threat to their communist grip on the island?

The second question is why THIS specific company, based in Fort Lauderdale.  Was there a specific reason why THIS company was chosen, like maybe a prior relationship with the Commissioner? And why couldn't she find a company in Miami that could do the job.  The city somehow seems to bypass local Miami businesses a lot when it comes to doling out cash for services.

The big question though is what, if anything was found?

After spending all this money did they find anything incriminating, or was this just another in a long list of expenditures prompted by Carollo that turn out to have been just an exercise is pissing away taxpayer money?

I don't have an answer for that because, when I asked for a copy of a final report on what was discovered on the computers - if anything was - I received the following answer.

As you can see from the dates on these documents, it supposedly took Robert Moody from July of 2018 to January of 2019 to do the search of Carollo's office computers, and we are now almost to September of 2019, and Miro has not filed a lawsuit, although he could still do so, which would then force the City Attorney to put Robert Moody on the stand or release this report.

What's really bad about this deal is that you can't trust Victoria Mendez, or the other attorneys in the City Attorney's office to not pull a fast one, as evidence by a story I did earlier this year when I caught the City Attorney's office adding language to legislation after it was approved by the Commission. Here is the portion of that story that details what they did, and how Mendez responded.

In a story that broke in the Broward Bulldog yesterday, Francisco Alvarez revealed that it now seems that Mendez and others on her staff willfully attempted to destroy public records rather than turning then over in response to a public record request, an act so flagrantly in violation of the law that the Governor should appoint a Special Prosecutor to investigate her office.

So, once again we have a situation where taxpayer money was spent for a dubious effort to try to find evidence of wrong doing to attack a critic of Commissioner Carollo, and if the past is any indication, the only photo pointing to porn that was found on Carollo's computers was a picture of Victoria Mendez holding Carollo's dick with a stupid look on her face and the caption, "He tod me if I pulled on it a Magic Pony would appear.

It's Miami, Bitches!