AUGUST 19, 2021
MIAMI HAS HAD MORE THAN ITS SHARE OF CORRUPT AND CONNIVING MAYORS, BUT FRANCIS - MAYOR BITCOIN BITCH - SUAREZ IS IN LINE TO MAKE ALL OF THOSE OTHER SCAMMERS AND SCHEMERS LOOK LIKE AMATUERS WHEN IT COMES TO SCREWING THE TAXPAYERS AND USING HIS OFFICE FOR SELF-ENRICHMENT
One of the things I've missed most since I quit writing my blog are the phone calls and emails that I would receive after posting a story that hit a nerve with folks who were either privy to inside information or were tired of the bullshit and would contact me in an effort to explain how to find the trees inside the forest, or connect the dots in ways that would often amaze me since their explanations often revealed the level of chicanery and dogged determination that the Mayor, City Commissioners, City Manager and others at Miami City Hall were engaged in either trying to screw the taxpayers, line their pockets, or both.
Even with my efforts, and the efforts of a handful other other bloggers to break though the fog and misdirection created to hide the corruption, the politicians at Miami City Hall, the corrupt State Attorney Katherine Fernandez-Rundle and the ethically challenged members of the Miami-Dade Ethics Commission continued their flagrant and often criminal behavior knowing that the odds of discovery were slim and the chances of punishment zero because among their enablers were the top dogs and stenographers at the Miami Herald and other exalted members of the local news media who seldom showed any interest for, much less desire to engage in aggressive reporting when it came to municipal malfeasance, relying instead on the pablum that they were spoon fed by these politicians and which they turned into propaganda that was often shameless in it's ass-kissing and vapidness.
All of this came back into sharp focus on Friday afternoon after I posted the list of campaign donors to Francis - Mayor Bitcoin Bitch - Suarez' latest PAC, Miami For Everyone, which if there were any requirements for truth when it came to naming PAC's should actually be named, Miami For Everyone With The Money To Buy Me Off.
My encore story - which you can find - was prompted by the latest financial report issued by Suarez's PAC that showed he had raised $4,57 million as of July 31st.
Even for Miami, with it's long and documented history of public and private bribery of elected officials this was an astounding amount of money for a part-time ceremonial mayor to raise with 5 months still left before the election.
More astounding was that he had doubled the $2.3 million that he had raised in 2014 when he had run against 3 candidates who had collectively managed to raise and spend $1200.
What made it all so astounding was Suarez's repeated exhibitions of incompetence, whiny cowardice and lack of accomplishment that had highlighted his first term as mayor.
Here is one of several exchanges over Suarez's first couple of years as Mayor when he whined about not being respected by Commissioner Joe Carollo.
As far as the Miami Herald and the rest of the local news media was concerned this was just another uneventful day at Miami City Hall.
By comparison, in the last few days the Herald has been frothing at the mouth over $62,500 in during June and July.
In that same time period Suarez received almost $1 million in donations to his PAC from 40 out-of state donors including $100,000 from Clean-Rite Maintenance of New York, who also gave $100,000 to Miami First, Joe Carollo's PC.
Why would a New York cleaning company give $100,000 each to two candidates running for office in Miami? Better yet, what do they expect as a Return On Investment for that $200 grand?
I'm not arguing that the $62,500 given to Crist and Fried doesn't merit coverage, but I am, and have repeatedly argued that Miami's supposed hometown paper has an obligation and responsibility to focus on how and why someone like the part-time Mayor of Miami has managed to raise a grand total to date of $4.87 million for a election where his three opponents have only raised $13,476.05, but whether some of that money - as happened last year with the $140,000 from a secret Delaware LLC named Pristine De LLC, that was given to - came from secret or questionable sources?
It's not like either Suarez or Carollo are in fear of being challenged by anyone with as much, or more campaign money than they've raised, thereby requiring them to go out and raise even more money to remain competitive, so there has to be another reason why Suarez has hired fundraising guru Brian Goldmeier to continue beating the bushes for money.
Here is the list of Suarez's PAC expenditures since June that show that he has paid Goldmeier's company, BYG Strategies $78047.75 in commissions.
Although he lacked interest in facts or policy, he has constantly been preoccupied with the trappings of power including his reliance on multiple bodyguards to enhance a self-entitled sense of importance that had become a topic of discussion from the beginning of his term as Mayor.
It became so obvious that he was abusing the powers of his office by being chauffeured by multiple Sgt-At-Arms/bodyguards and having on-duty police officers assigned to guard his house 27/7, that the questions about the costs involved managed to make it onto several City Commission agendas before Suarez and Commissioner Joe Carollo concluded that the level of corruption and thievery they both aspired to required ignoring the antipathy and lack of respect that they have for each other while engaging in some good old fashioned transactional cooperation and mutual back scratching.
No one knows how much all of these sgt-at-arms/bodyguards cost the taxpayer since Suarez became Mayor, because unlike the State of Florida which several days ago , the Miami Police Department has refused requests to provide an accurate accounting of how much Suarez's security has cost by claiming it was a security issue.
In truth, the amount has little to do with security, and more to do with the MPD's history of using on-duty police officers to provide private security for select members of the Family and Friends Plan in the city. (, )
In May of this year, for the third time during the four years he's been mayor, Suarez left one law firm - Greenspoon Marder - for a new law firm. As with his previous moves, Suarez's latest move to Quinn Emanuel Urquhart & Sullivan, included his sister Olga Vieira.
Not widely known, and seldom if ever publicly acknowledged especially by the news media, is that each of these career moves by Francis included his sister Olga Vieira, who many consider the legal star of the Suarez family and who some believe that if he didn't have her coattails to hang on to, the chances are he would probably have never gotten further than being an ambulance chaser, hustling traffic ticket and DUI cases.
This time however, the game of musical chairs also included Daddy , who having termed out of his County Commissioner seat, replaced Francis at Greenspoon Marder where he, like his son, became, "Of Counsel.
Daddy X is a guy who likes to brag about being the first Harvard educated, Cuban born mayor of Miami but refuses to acknowledge was also the first Harvard educated, Cuban born mayor to be removed from office for Absentee Ballot Fraud.
In a bungled effort to run for Mayor in 2013, Suarez Jr. had his own brush with Absentee Ballot Fraud involving teenage girls in wet T-Shirts, thereby supporting the claim that .
Within days afer revealing he was changing law firms again, Suarez revealed that he was also going to become the Senior Operating Partner at the private equity firm of DaGrosa Capital Partners.
Having determined after the pandemic hit that becoming a ubiquitous talking head on cable TV was preferable to dealing with the collection of scorpions on the city commission, he demonstrated that he couldn't even do that without revealing that he was less interested in educating himself on the topics he showed up to talk about than making sure his eyebrows were plucked.
Here is one appearance he made in on cable TV that revealed how unprepared he was for prime time.
From the evidence available, the new committee is operating like a classic grifter's con, with a mail drop at a UPS store on Flagler Street, and with a website that some 5th grader could have cobbled together in 5 minutes.
One thing that both Miami For Everyone and Miami Good Government Initiative have in common is that they're operating out of the same office with the same Chairman and Account which raises the obvious question of maintaining an arm's length relationship and collusion when it comes to spending money.
Neither the Herald stenographer who wrote the story, or anyone else in the news media since the story broke has bothered to ask, 'How can you claim this new job will not have any impact on your being mayor - even part-time - when even a dunce would realize that, becoming "Of Counsel" at a new international law firm, a Senior Operating Partner of a private equity firm, AND a husband and father with two small children would obviously require compromises of time and energy?
In that equation somebody's bound to get the short end of the stick while he tries to juggle these balls, and you can bet it's going to end up being the taxpayers of the city.
If the news of his being hired by Dagrosa was not enough to raise eyebrows, a week later the Herald did a story on the $3.5 million that Suarez's PAC had raised to date, and revealed that within days being being hired by DaGrosa for what had to be a sizable salary and benefits package, DaGrosa had turned around and gave Suarez's PAC $150,000.
For all of the talk about Miami becoming the next New York or San Francisco, the fact of the matter is that Miami is destined through geography, political corruption and a fragmented population of exiles whose hearts, minds and most importantly expendable income will always be committed to their homeland instead of the local economy to continuing to be a place of crippling inequality where hustlers and opportunists will come to pursue their dreams and schemes until the sea water rises to a level that makes it economically and environmentally impossible to live here anymore.
If you're in your 20's and 30's, and have the money to buy off politicians like Francis Suarez, it can be what it's always been: a sunny place for shady people.
One day however, the pied piper will show up like he's done in the past, and when that next category 5 hurricane arrives and tears Miami and South Florida a new asshole, many of this current generation of cryptocurrency hustlers, private equity and hedge fund schemers and scammers will be the first to get to their private jets and get the fuck out of Miami faster than the three speed dildos used by their girlfriends.
It's Miami, Bitches!
A PERSONAL NOTE
While this story represents an encore of sorts, please do not think that it means that I am coming back to writing stories in any permanent way.
My retirement remains in place.
One reason that I decided to write this story, was that one of the biggest bitches I used to hear from the Miami Herald stenographers was that my stories sucked all the oxygen out of the room, pissing everyone off, and that's why they almost never bothered to follow up on any of the big stories I broke.
Well, I left the room 8 1/2 months ago, and there's been plenty of oxygen available since then.
The Miami Heard still does a shit job of covering local municipal governments, and they continue to ignore or sweep shit under the rug when it comes to the City of Miami.
There are stories that they do cover competently, and this last year has been a year challenging year in many ways, but what happens inside the City of Miami is a harbinger of the future not only for Florida, but for other parts of the country because the techniques of bribery and corruption that are being practiced in Miami are destined to spread unless there are real efforts to expose them, and then put the corrupt motherfuckers in jail!
The corruption that occurs in Miami involves everyone, from private businesses, to law firms, to public officials, to law enforcement.
So that no one will whine if someday soon I show up with a story with the power to suck ALL the oxygen out of the room, I going to give all the local new media in Miami a big tip.
Let's see if anybody has the connections and balls to break that story.
PS: Don't call me asking for more info.
A question that some insiders are now pondering, and one which the news media certainly needs to pay some attention to is what scheme, or schemes does Francis Suarez have up his sleeve that are the real reason he is continuing to raise all these millions of dollars?
If the Miami Herald had spent only a portion of the money, time and manpower they spent in the last 3 years chasing down every rumor of how many underage teenage girls Jeffrey Epstein had tried to screw 20 years ago at his house in Palm Beach and everywhere else in the world but Miami, into a similar effort to, "following the money," that has exceeded well over $10 million to fund the campaigns of the likes of grifters like Francis Suarez, Joe Carollo, Alex Diaz de la Portilla and Keon Hardemon then maybe they would have actually won the Pulitzer Prize they so slavishly lust for, while actually doing something beneficial for the community.
But they didn't.
GOOD GOVERNMENT MY ASS
May was a propitious month for Suarez. Not only did he change law firms and land what amounted to a third job as a big-shot at a private equity firm, but for whatever reason he decided that in addition to his Miami For Everyone, PAC, he also needed to create a second political committee, called, Miami Good Government Initiative.
In the last three months this committee has collected $305,001.00 from a total of the following 7 individuals, six of which were affiliated with hedge funds and private equity companies
OCTOBER 1, 2021
FUMIGATING CITY HALL - HOW TO GET RID OF JOE CAROLLO, ALEX DIAZ DE LA PORTILLA AND MANOLO REYES
OCTOBER 14, 2021
YOU ARE INVITED TO AN AFTERNOON OF HAND GRENADE THROWING AT CITY HALL THIS AFTERNOON.
Sometimes the evidence that exposes how a series of calamities came to pass can be easily and readily traced back to a single incident. The current shit show at Miami City Hall is one of those calamities that can be traced to the Sunday morning after Francis Suarez had been elected in Mayor in November 2017.
That Sunday morning Francis appeared on the Michael Putney Sunday morning talk show, and was asked whether he was going to join his father is supporting Alfie Leon in his runoff campaign against Joe Carollo for the vacant District 3 Commission seat.
There was no love lost between the Suarez family and Joe Carollo, and Xavier Suarez had wasted little time in declaring his support for Leon, when it became evident that Carollo failed to win the first round.
Instead of declaring that he would join his father in supporting Leon, Francis declared that he was going to stay neutral because he wanted to work with whoever got elected.
That decision would almost immediately start to haunt Suarez after Carollo won the runoff, and continued to color and define much of his administration's future which eventually led to this latest fiasco.
I say this because Suarez had won his election to mayor with 86% of the vote, and had hundreds of thousands of dollars left in his PAC that he could have used to bolster Leon's chances.
That morning he was the most popular politician in Miami-Dade County, and if he had declared that he was supporting Leon because he needed to make sure that he had commissioners who would work with him in moving the city forward, the odds are that his support, and his money could have swung the election to Leon.
He didn't, and Carollo went on to win the runoff by roughly 200 votes.
It didn't take long after Carollo moved into city hall that the "CRAZY" JOE CAROLLO from the past revealed that he had only gotten crazier and more dangerous as he set about turning District 3 into his personal fiefdom.
.I will forgo listing the long list of mean, vindictive and manipulative behavior that Carollo engaged in as he set about demonstrating that he intended to be the real power broker at city hall because you can go read all of those stopries for yourself:
And even though I spent considerable time writing about Carollo I was only able to detail only some of the many actions that revealed just how devious and dangerous Carollo had become since his last stint as an elected official to city employees, local business owners who he disagreed with, or who refused to pony up money as he set out early on the establishing that his office would operate as Pay For Play cash register.
For some, the worst exhibits of how crazy he'd become were his rants and personal attacks during commission meetings. (You can go to my 2018-2019 Archive to read those stories and watch those videos.)
Things only got worse after Carollo conspired with Alex Diaz de la Portilla to get him elected to the vacant District 1 Commission seat, vacated by Willie Gort, who after received as a parting gift for his years of service as a pliable "team player" an appointment to the Miami-Dade Ethics Commission, thereby insuring that the history of that group continues to reflect their role as gatekeepers for the Family and Friends Plan.
THE EASIEST PEOPLE TO HUSTLE ARE THE ONES WHO FANCY THEMSELVES HUSTLERS
Francis Suarez has always had a thing about cops. When his father was Mayor, and received some death threats for his decisions in refusing to honor Nelson Mandela, Francis was essentially given his own personal police protection, and as told by men who were his school mates at the time, there was nothing that he enjoyed more than running his mouth and then running to those cops so that they could protect him from the school yard ass whipping that normally came with being a privileged little prick.
Even before he was elected, Mayor Suarez had arranged to have on-duty Miami police assigned to protect him 24/7. That benefit only increased after he became mayor and he had both SIS officers and Sgt-At-Arms providing him with the kind of personal protection that included blocking anyone from entering the men's bathroom in the lobby of city hall when the Mayor needed to piss and escorting him to private parties and family events.
All of that was possible because .
Colina more or less fulfilled his obligations as being Suarez's sock puppet before deciding that perhaps the time had come to retire.
To replace Colina, a "search committee" was formed to conduct a national search, with insiders expecting that the final selection would be someone from inside the department.
Keeping to that script the search committee supposedly settled on Assistant Chief Manny Morales, a choice that Suarez, for whatever reason, was not happy with.
Full of himself as a budding national political figure, Suarez managed to bump into Art Acevedo at the same time that Art Acevedo was seeing the handwriting on the wall in Huston, and both Suarez and Acevedo, formed a mutual bond as each obviously tried to blow smoke up the other's ass.
Suarez ordered the ever pliable City Manager Art Noriega - himself selected and appointed as part of an agreement with Alex D Diaz de la Portilla after he was elected to the District 1 seat - to ignore the decision of the "search committee," and instead appoint Art Acevedo, going out of his way to praise Acevedo almost to the point of proclaiming his arrival in Miami as better than the second coming of the Baby Jesus.
It didn't take long however, before it became evident that Acevedo's habit of recklessly running his mouth as well as lack of knowledge about how the City of Miami really operates, as well as lacking the kind of detailed management skills that the really good Chief's of Police who make it onto the national stage have all insured that he would not be around long.
It was also evident that Carollo and Diaz de la Portilla - engaging in a little transactional fence mending, after months of school yard squabbling over whose dick was the biggest - seized on Acevedo's claim that Miami was run by the Cuban Mafia - which in reality is actually quite true as a useful description of who these grifters run the city - jumped at the opportunity to push him out the door at a time that it benefited Carollo the most - which in this case was a month before the November election where Carollo could use his antics and breast beating as the protector of the Cubans in the city.
And so it all came to pass in a series of shit show performances over the last couple weeks as his fellow commissioners stepped back and allowed Joe to be Joe: Crazy, vindictive, mendacious, yet weaving together a plausible case that Art Acevedo really didn't deserve to be the Chief of Police.
Carollo's antics, though rude, crude in the classic Carollo tradition of weaving a few facts into a tapestry of insane accusation and personal attacks were in this case bolstered by Acevedo's part behavior which were revealed in the below document, and which given the world we live in today, all but guarantees that no city can risk having a guy with this kind of background running their police department.
After the dust settles from all of this, the chances of Art Acevedo ever becoming the Chief of Police of a major American city again, are slim, none and Zippo.
YOU ARE INVITED FOR AN AFTERNOON BATTLE INVOLVING HAND GRANADES AT 3 PM
Art Acevedo's only way out of this situation, other than to slink out of town with his tail between his legs, is to show up at Miami City Hall this afternoon trailed by TV crews from as many of the cable TV networks as he can coax, and bring along a box of hand grenades that contain real, and damning inside information of what Carollo and Diaz de la Portilla have been up to and go after them with the same ferocity, if not more, than they went after him during the last two meetings.
He's got to walk into City Hall as a disgraced Chief of Police who got manhandled by two members of the Cuban political mafia and walk out as a fire breathing, no holds barred champion of fighting public corruption within police departments and municipal governments.
The big question is not only whether he's personally capable of doing this, but whether Commission Chairman Ken "Selfie Boy" Russell will give him free reign to do what he needs to do.
Russell has repeatedly shown himself to be a weak, ineffectual commission chairman when it's come to allowing people to go after Carollo the same way that Carollo has gone after them during public meetings.
If Russell needs to strap on a back brace and foot long dildo to bolster his courage to be able to tell Carollo and Diaz de la Portilla to shut up and let Acevedo speak if he shows up for battle, then he better go shopping before this afternoon's activities..
If he can do that, then maybe the show will be both entertaining and informative and let Acevedo walk out with dome dignity remaining.
If Russell knuckles under though, it's going to be a nasty one-sided beat down that Acevedo will look back for the rest of his life and realize that the worst professional mistake he ever made was coming to Miami.
The one thing that will quickly define just how serious Acevedo is will depend on whether he comes in with names, dates, and documents that detail just how badly Carollo and Diaz de la Portilla have been behaving behind closed doors, or whether he shows up and tries to get by by regurgitating the haphazard and largely ineffectual 8 page memo that I'm sure he was convinced to prepare as a fallback whistleblower bit of ass-covering protection.
Eleven years ago, then former Chief of Police Miguel Exposito tried to ward off being fired by claiming that his actions in reporting that Mayor Tomas Regalado tried to bribe him to resign represented a whistleblower action.
In fact, city employees filing whistleblower complaints as a way to try and protect themselves from getting fired is so common, that in the 3rd hour of the first season of the TV series I've been working on about political corruption in Miami, I have my Chief declare that he thinks he should put together a whistleblower complaint after he and his Deputy Chief are told by an Assistant State Attorney that contrary to their wishes, the State Attorney has found out that the Chief has been wearing a wire in an effort to entrap the Mayor (JULIO) into admitting that the payout that the City Manager keeps offering him to resign is actually a bribe. SALAZAR is an FDLE Agent handling the case.
While Acevedo has been left with limited options, Carollo has Captain Javier Ortiz, who earlier this week filed his own whistleblower lawsuit in response to the information that continues to surface about former Deputy Chief Papier's wife and her "running up over the curb and damaging her police SUV, as a perennial club in his bag of tricks.
I've been told that Acevedo, who as part of the tradition of agreeing to certain "things" with the Mayor as a condition of employment also has a few string left dangling that Carollo might have knowledge and access to. Carollo is a guy, who, regardless of his many faults, is still really skillful as getting his hands on damning information, and on knowning how to use that information to his advantage.
At the same time there are a lot of people who hate Carollo and Diaz de la Portilla, and have probably reached out to Acevedo with information of some of the sleazy stuff that they have been engaged in for the last couple years, some of it, including some of what Acevedo alleged in his 8 page memo, while sleazy and unethical, is not illegal per say, and that's where he has to be very careful.
Carollo can, and will whine like a baby if Acevedo makes a claim that he can not support with documents and/or witnesses, and once Carollo starts, the only way to shut his ass up will be to hit him between the eyes with a cattle prod because "Selfie Boy" Ken Russell, will fold like a napkin.
All in all, todays show could be more entertaining that anything else you'll find on TV.
If you go to City Hall, drink a lot of water, and if you stay home to watch it on TV make sure you have a lot of popcorn because I predict that the shit show could go late into the night.
It's Miami, Bitches.
Photo credit: Pedro Portal/Miami Herald P
MAY 19, 2022
IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF FRANCIS SUAREZ HAS ONLY CLAIMED TO HAVE RECEIVED 4 NIGHTS OF FREE LODING IN KEY LARGO