I don't think that there's any question that I seem to have gotten under Commissioner "Comemierda: Carollo's skin. In fact, I think I've managed to permanently move into his head, and as a result he keeps foaming at the mouth making wild claims about how if I come after him, I'm going to need more than one gun.

Only a paranoid moron would make that kind of a comment, because the last thing I want is to see Joe Carollo dead. He might be more than the lightweights Boy-Toy Mayor Francis Suarez, Commissioner "Sellout" Russell and Emilio "Colonel Klink" Gonzalez can handle, but I've dealt with guys a lot crazier, and a lot more dangerous than Carollo, and frankly I've come to like "Comemierda" around because it gets tiresome just writing about the usual stupid shit that goes on at City Hall.

Besides, I know that for all his craziness, Carollo is at heart a coward who has never lifted so much as a finger at anyone other than his ex-wife.

That's what prompted me to go to Dick's Sporting Goods to take a look at some Catcher's Mitts, because if I ever manage to push the right button on Carollo I expect that he'll throw a teapot at me from across the room, and I think I'll need to be prepared, but then again, he probably throws like a girl.


June 26, 2019

Dear Madam Director,

I won't belabor your failure to comply with Florida's Public Records Law because it's evident that complying with public record requests is but just one of the failures of leadership and management you've brought to the job as the Director of Code Enforcement, and quite frankly, bitch slapping morons who try to jerk me around on public records is one of the pleasures I get in doing what I do.

Which brings me to this morning's public record request.

Yesterday afternoon, I was provided copies of two Notice of Violations that were supposedly sent to Commissioner Joe Carollo by Certified Mail.

The first of these Notices dealt with:

1. The wood lattice was attached to the 6ft fence after the permit was finalized.

2. The flat roof was converted into a rooftop deck, with guardrails.

3. Three carports were constructed without a permit.

4. The pavers are not reflected on the permit history report.

The bottom portion of the instructions in this first Notice of Violation is blocked because of the placement of the copy of the certified Mail Receipt, but in reviewing other similar code violation notices, it appears that the part that is blocked says:


NUMBER 97 - JUNE 26, 2019

In this case the 10 day date that the Commissioner would have been required to respond would have been June 3rd.

Did he respond?  If he did, why didn't you include a copy of that response as part of my initial public record request where I asked for, "the file."

If he didn't, where is the copy of the copy of the Notice Of Violation Summons To Appear?

So, you have an either/or problem. One or the other document should have been provided to me, yet neither has.

The second Notice of Violation sent to the Commissioner dealt with the large Banyan Tree that your inspector claims that he, "Hat-racked:"

"Based  on the onsite inspection with the City of Miami Environmental Department Team, the tree in front of the home was determined to be Hat-racketed between 2015-2016. It was determined that the tree failed as a result of the aggressive tree trimming. After-the Fact permit must be pulled and finalized to comply the violation.  Fine Amount ,000 * 1=1,000.00."

This second violation is different than the first in that it is labeled a TICKET/CITATION, and on the 2nd page it contains the following instructions:

Support The Crespogram

Again, the Commissioner had 10 days to respond, Did he?

If he did, or if he didn't, you again failed to provide me with this document.

In addition, there is the question of the $1,000 fine. This was a mature Banyan Tree which was destroyed as a result of the Commissioner's actions. It has been widely discussed that this kind of violation would result in a significant fine in the 5 figures, yet, you and your office only applied a fine of $1,000.

Please provide me with whatever documentation that you and your staff used to come up with this amount.

I would also remind you that the public record statute only provides you with the "reasonable and limited amount of time," required to retrieve the document, verify that it does not contain any exempt information and send it to me.

I figure, being reasonable that I should receive these documents within the next 60 minutes.

Thank you,

al crespo

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