Support The Crespogram

NUMBER 48 - MARCH 25, 2019

Now that the Miami Herald provided a tiny look into the activities of Miami Mayor Francis Suarez when he isn't flitting around posing for self-aggrandizing photos, making grandiose pronouncements and touting his, and his new law firm's activities on his Twitter page, it seems that Suarez, who has all along refused to reveal what kind of lawyerly activities he's engaged in, turns out to have acted as a lobbyist for the richest folks living in Miami-Dade County.

How sweet is that?

The best sentence in the Herald story, and the one that kind of sums up Suarez in a nutshell was this jewel offered by a former President of the Fisher Island Homeowners Association who said of Suarez's activities:

          

        β€œThey were spending a lot of money on him,” Potash said,

        β€œand not getting many results.”


If asked, that could probably be the consensus opinion of hundreds of thousands of Miami residents too.

The Herald story is tantalizing on several fronts, not the least of which is that the lawyers running Carlton Fields obviously had so little respect for Suarez they they would offer him to the rich folks at Fisher Island to be their lobbyist for $2500 a month.

That's chump change money, and you can bet that Commissioner Keon Hardemon's Uncle Billy and Auntie Barbara got a big laugh out of that, given that Billy allegedly wanted a $10,000 upfront payment, plus $7000 month for his services, and we can bet that Auntie Barbara also gets that kind of money for "facilitating" meetings with her nephew.

While the Herald's story represents one window into Francis Suarez's activities as a lawyer they don't even begin to scratch the surface of what kinds of other private deals and activities Francis Suarez, Tomas Regalado before him, Commissioner Willie Gort, former Commissioner Marc Sarnoff and all the other Commissioners and public officials in Miami have been up to behind closed doors over the years. Sarnoff did not become known as "Pay For Play" Sarnoff by mistake, and what secret deals these politicians engage in are not just behind closed doors in Miami.

Take for instance their junkets to foreign countries, like the one where Francis Suarez, (his wife), Willie Gort and Alex Lampro - AKA Sneakers The Bodyguard - showed up in the middle of the night for a trip to Spain.

Carrodguas was in Spain filming episodes of a travel show for AmericaTeVE 41, when she gave away the above Key To The City.

AmericaTeVe 41, for those with a short attention span, is now Commissioner Joe "Big Mouth" Carollo's favorite TV station, and produces and broadcasts his Last Friday's In Little Havana musical shows.

WHAT THE COUNTY POLITICIANS DO

Miami's politicians aren't the only ones who take junkets. The Miami-Dade County Commissioners have themselves been known to jump on a jet plane faster than a three speed dildo, but at least they've had the good sense to at least make an effort to provide some transparency as to what they are up to in foreign countries.

Here are several examples of the post-mission reports, there are a lot more, submitted by county commissioners providing some explanation of what they were doing on behalf of the citizens when they went overseas.

Questions about these foreign trips started long before Suarez became mayor, like the 2013 trip to China by then Commissioner Marc Sarnoff, who lied to the Herald when he claimed that the Miami Heat was paying for the junket.

They weren't.

Sarnoff was forced to file a FORM 9 Gift Report that revealed that the $22,739.00 trip for him and his wife - another fact not revealed in the Herald's story - was paid for by the Chinese government.

By far though, Tomas Regalado was the biggest abuser of traveling on other people's dime - 32 trips in 8 years as mayor - and never once, did he ever make a public accounting of what he allegedly did on behalf of the city and citizens of Miami when he went galavanting around the world from China, to Argentina, to Spain and Mexico.

It was only because of reporting by the Argentine press, and the anger of the Argentine President who criticized Regalado's activities in her country that it was discovered that on one of his trips to  that country he went there to hustle condos for a new building being built by his pal, Tibor Hollo.

I wrote about some of those episodes in my story about his freeloading in a luxury condo, which became the basis for a currently open criminal investigation by the FDLE, as well as the shameful abuse by his "wife, Anna Christina Carrodguas, and her hustle of passing out Keys To The City after Regalado has left office.

End of Mission Report - Afr... by on Scribd

End of Mission Report - Chi... by on Scribd

Unlike the Post-Mission Reports issued by County Commissioners, the only way to find out what Tomas Regalado and Francis Suarez were up to in foreign countries was to go searching on the internet for photos and stories generated by the local press in those countries, which is how I was able to discover Regalado's connection with the accused Spanish extortionist Luis Pineda, who paid for one of Regalado and "wifey's" trips to Spain.

It's a story that you can also read about in detail as part of the larger story that I wrote in 2017 about Regalado's travel adventures and living in the luxury apartment on Douglas Road.

Below is a photo of Regalado with Pineda at the far right.

When Suarez returned from his trip to Spain, I made a public record's request to the City Clerk regarding the Memorandum Of Understanding that he had supposedly gone to Spain to sign with wifey. Willie Gort and 2 bodyguards in tow.

The response I got was that the Clerk's office was not in possession of any such documents, and that I should contact the Executive Director of the Mayor's International Council, a group that, according to the City Clerk had not met since Suarez has been Mayor.


I did, and below is the document.

Given the "lack of beef" in this document - especially when you read that this agreement is, "not legally binding nor subject to international law." - then you've got to wonder why so much time and money was spent to go to Spain when they could have used Fedex to exchange signed copies of this document.


Could it be that this dog-and-pony show, like other similar dog-and-pony shows was a facade for private meetings and private business arrangements engaged in by Francis Suarez and Willie Gort?


This is not as far fetched as some might think. I was provided information several years ago that on one of the early trips that Tomas Regalado and Willie Gort took to Mexico, they negotiated and signed off on 2 agreements representing private companies. One of those companies was a freight forwarder with offices close to Miami International Airport, and the other was an agri-business up-state.


You'll not find any evidence of those agreements, just like you will not find copies of agreements of various kinds signed by this Mayor of Miami, or previous Mayors as part of the historical record of the city residing in the files of the Miami City Clerk.


It's all hocus-pocus bullshit that justifiably raises a question that if Francis Suarez was willing to act as the lobbyist for some of the richest people in Miami, and to do so for chump change, then the question that the Miami Herald and others should turn their attention to is what else would Francis Suarez be willing to do for chump change, and are any of those activities related to rich folks in foreign countries?


It's Miami, Bitches!

FRANCIS SUAREZ IS A PART-TIME MAYOR, PART-TIME LOBBYIST, AND MAYBE A PART-TIME LOVER, BUT HE'S A FULLTIME SCHEMER WHO LIKES TO OPERATE BEHIND CLOSED DOORS, AND LIKE MANY POLITICIANS, WILLING TO DO SO FOR CHUMP CHANGE