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NUMBER 75 - MAY 9, 2019


The stars are in alignment to make today's Miami City Commission meeting a combination Clown Car Spectacular abd Shit Show Extraordinaire.

The Crespogram has learned that at yesterday's "shade meeting" about the settlement of the city's lawsuit with the Flagstone Group Commissioner Joe "Comemeirda" Carollo and Manolo "Can You Turn The Volume Down" Reyes, had a fit over the settlement terms, and supposedly accused City Manager Emilio "Colonel Klink" Gonzalez, of pulling a fast one.

Given that one of the items that Carollo is been shifting from agenda to agenda for the last couple months has been a presentation that from all accounts he intended to use to try and get his fellow commissioners to go along with firing Colonel Klink, today might be the day when that happens.

Then there's the issue about getting a negotiator to represent the city in the lease agreement with Jorge Mas over the Melreese Golf Course property. Nobody who had dealt with those commie Cubans in Havana need apply.

Look for possible fireworks there, and keep an eye out for the law firm of Shutts and Bowen, where former commissioner and asshole buddy of both Carollo and Reyes, Marc Sarnoff now hangs his legal shingle, and whose law firm has a horse in the race.

Today is also the first day that Boy-Toy Mayor Francis Suarez shows up with his personal attorney in tow, so that might provide some fireworks.

Speaking of the Boy-Toy Mayor, after yesterday's 3-2 vote to approve the county plan for the renovation of the Coconut Grove Playhouse, look for hiz honor to veto that vote, because, first he and Miami-Dade Mayor Carolos Gimenez are now officially in a pissing war with each other, and  secondly and perhaps more importantly, the principal backer of the other plan for the Playhouse is Mike Eidson, of Colson Hicks Eidson, who hosted a "get-to-know-you session with the candidate," where $591,000 was raised for Suarez's campaign for mayor.

In Miami, money talks and bullshit walks, and as we saw yesterday when Commissioner "Sellout"Russell voted for the Eidson Plan and against the county plan, the $5000 that Eidson donated to Russell's PAC on March 28th, seems to have helped the commissioner see the light of day, or at least the benefits of voting for a plan that has some deep-pocket supporters. Once a "sellout," always a "sellout."  

But, these are just some of the fun things that might provide entertainment today.  The really BIG story of the day, and a story that involves Commissioner "Comemeirda" Carollo, is one that I cannot reveal this morning, but by this afternoon, it should be a, hum dinger of a, "He did what!?!" story.

In Miami, just when you think that things can't get anymore batshit crazy, they do!